house keeeeeeeping!

have you ever heard of 'almendra quema grasa'? I never had until today. The woman who comes over once in awhile to help clean my tiny apartment is trying to kill me. Because? Im too fat?
She asked me how my thanksgiving was, and I went on to tell her how nice it was and how I eat to the point of disgust, but that was my duty, like most people on thanksgiving and all the days surrounding. Your job is to eat. A lot. I even went on to tell her how I eat ham sandwiches in the middle of the night and I felt good about it. Like I was handling a very important job and people would be proud to hear of it. Its something to brag about. Everyone always talks in detail about the intensity of their eating habits during thanksgiving with pure disgust and pride all at the same time. Like "oh my gawd... I feel soooooo gross! I eat like 3 plates of thanksgiving dinner... and than I sampled ALL of the deserts and oh yeah all the cheese and crackers and tiny pickles and olives before... Oouch! My stomach hurts!.... Im soooooo tired!... I feel like I am dying!.... I cant even move!.. what did YOU have?" With the "you" swinging vaingloriously.
Maybe she felt bad for me? That a young woman would find such joy from eating too much. I should be thin and sexy. Out in the world running around, showing myself off at all the hip night clubs. Not scarfing ham sandwiches in the middle of the night in front of the television.
After my feeding monolog, she told me how she only had 1 respectable plate of food and nothing else. What?! But its thanksgiving! The only time you have to be truly gluttonous AND socially excepted! She told me that in the last 2 months she had lost almost 20 lbds. and it was all thanks to a "magic almond" from HER country. WELL!, anyone who knows me knows how in love I am with learning of natural & holistic medicine, food and the like and I LOVE almonds! I needed to know more. What is this? She went on to tell me that you brake off a tiny tiny piece, the size of a grain of rice and drink it in the morning with water. Swallow it. It will than suppress your appetite, make you throw up if you eat too much, clean you kidneys, liver, blood, cholesterol, prevent diabetes, etc etc.... the first two weeks you will have a stomach ache from it killing off any bad bacteria. Hey a stomach ache for two weeks in exchange for weight loss? Like Alf always said... "no problem!" I have to say I was totally intrigued and interested. She than went into her purse and pulled out a tiny plastic bag with about 6 magic almonds in it. It had everything she said it would do typed in spanish with green ink on a piece of paper in the bag. The almonds looked like really old fungus ridden corn nuts. She than told me that she doesn't talk about it with people. Por que? Why is she telling me about her secret? She than goes on to tell me that each nut is worth 25$! What the fuck?! In that case she just gave me 150$ worth of friggin' nuts. Why such an expensive hard to find secret gift?
Why does she need to clean houses for money if she's got these magic weight loss health supreme nuts that are worth a fortune in her purse?! she kept saying.. "just try it, just try it... "so i was like "okay i will!". She then made me touch the damn nut and feel it. I was like, "okay cool great.. thanks?" she left.
Well.. I didn't try those fugly nuts. I googled them.
They are referred to as Yellow Oleander, in english, and they are what rat poison among many other poisons are made of. Lots of sights I read said that handling them with out gloves is dangerous! I just handled! She wants me dead?!
I thought about telling her what info I found on them, but than realized she must know this stuff already, she was so weird and secretive about them and went on and on about how some people don't believe it and are weird about it. So she must totally know. And to be honest I don't feel like talking to her about it. I threw them in the trash. And washed my hands 3x. I want a new cleaning partner. This one scares me.