"this is a strange one Bobbie....."

A boot under a breast? Try FOUR pairs!
Shmeco Thomas and her Friend Ailene Brown hid a bunch of stuff in their body fat?


here is a link to the article and video on NYDailyNews.com

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2010/12/01/2010-12-01_oklahoma_women_ailene_brown_shmeco_thomas_accused_of_smuggling_stolen_goods_in_b.html


This story reminds me of the time I got busted for shop lifting....
I won't name names. Some of my culprits I don't even remember and the others have families and good jobs.
We were 13. It all started at a sleep over when the group of us hooligans planned our attack on a major department store. I still don't understand what we were thinking. It really was a blur. I felt posessed. I probubly was. All I remember was us girls sitting in a circle in the back room of my mom's house in the valley hatching this plan. It really did feel like it was someone elses plan. Was there a leader of out 24 hr gang? i think it was one of the girls I can't remember. Maybe it was a ghost... yeah thats it. So the plan was to go to the this department store after some time of hanging out in the mall and make our way for the lingerie section. We then would act like an army of pubescent maniacs taking as many bras and underware as possible. I remember having an arm load of underwear and giggling, running into a dressing room with other girls laughing maniacally about how easy it was going to be to get away with this. Why on earth were we even doing it?! Did we not have underwear? Were our upper middle class parents denying us from wearing under garments to the point of illegal activity? I truly felt like I was under a spell. We, the "gang", put on as many bra's and underwear under our clothes, over the underwear we were wearing, and shoved panties in our jean pockets. We sailed down the escalator from the second floor with the confidence and air of royalty. "HA HA! that was so easy! We totally got away with it! What a cinch to shop lift!" was echoing in our heads and spilling from our tongues. We made a mad dash to the exit. It was huge glass doors with metal detail that looked out to a deep valley sunset of nothingness. We put our hands on the doors and pushed our way to "getting away with it". We were thieves! Successful thieves! We jumped, danced, shouted and stomped like crazy gypsy's! In the midst of celebrating and trying to figure out our get away(who's mom would pick us up), a woman tapped me on the shoulder. "Oh sorry I don't have a watch" is what I blurted out, with out even really looking at her with surety that what she wanted was the time. She hadn't even said a word. Why would I assume she wanted the time? Well she didn't want the time. "Uh, no.. you don't understand... you need to come with me.." I looked over to her and noticed she had a couple of friends. Large male security friends. We were wrangled in shock and taken to....... MALL SECURITY!? Holy shit! It was so intense. Some of us broke our cool and started to weep. We were asked to hand over all the stolen merchandise. They tallied up what we took and how much it was worth. We were then brought to another location of mall security... a "harder" location... you know, for tough crimes? We were finger printed and had our Mug shots taken. They put us in a cell. (to be honest I don't really remember if it was a cell or just felt like one) They called our parents to pick us up. They than told us we couldn't come back to the mall for a year with out parental supervision. WHAT!???? parental supervision? oh my god! our lives were ruined. this was probably the worst thing that could have happened to us. Going to the mall with your parents? You might as well be walking around the mall wearing diapers! It was bad. Girls were crying. Girls were in shock. Some looked at me with an evil eye as if this was all MY fault because they slept over at MY house the night before. My mom picked me up. We got in her black jeep and just sat there in the parking lot for awhile. She asked me if I really needed underwear THAT bad. She was confused as was I. Those girls were never really allowed to come over to my moms house without dissaproving vibes attached. I swear we were temporarily posessed by the spirit of an underwear fiend. It wasn't really us.

house keeeeeeeping!

have you ever heard of 'almendra quema grasa'? I never had until today. The woman who comes over once in awhile to help clean my tiny apartment is trying to kill me. Because? Im too fat?
She asked me how my thanksgiving was, and I went on to tell her how nice it was and how I eat to the point of disgust, but that was my duty, like most people on thanksgiving and all the days surrounding. Your job is to eat. A lot. I even went on to tell her how I eat ham sandwiches in the middle of the night and I felt good about it. Like I was handling a very important job and people would be proud to hear of it. Its something to brag about. Everyone always talks in detail about the intensity of their eating habits during thanksgiving with pure disgust and pride all at the same time. Like "oh my gawd... I feel soooooo gross! I eat like 3 plates of thanksgiving dinner... and than I sampled ALL of the deserts and oh yeah all the cheese and crackers and tiny pickles and olives before... Oouch! My stomach hurts!.... Im soooooo tired!... I feel like I am dying!.... I cant even move!.. what did YOU have?" With the "you" swinging vaingloriously.
Maybe she felt bad for me? That a young woman would find such joy from eating too much. I should be thin and sexy. Out in the world running around, showing myself off at all the hip night clubs. Not scarfing ham sandwiches in the middle of the night in front of the television.
After my feeding monolog, she told me how she only had 1 respectable plate of food and nothing else. What?! But its thanksgiving! The only time you have to be truly gluttonous AND socially excepted! She told me that in the last 2 months she had lost almost 20 lbds. and it was all thanks to a "magic almond" from HER country. WELL!, anyone who knows me knows how in love I am with learning of natural & holistic medicine, food and the like and I LOVE almonds! I needed to know more. What is this? She went on to tell me that you brake off a tiny tiny piece, the size of a grain of rice and drink it in the morning with water. Swallow it. It will than suppress your appetite, make you throw up if you eat too much, clean you kidneys, liver, blood, cholesterol, prevent diabetes, etc etc.... the first two weeks you will have a stomach ache from it killing off any bad bacteria. Hey a stomach ache for two weeks in exchange for weight loss? Like Alf always said... "no problem!" I have to say I was totally intrigued and interested. She than went into her purse and pulled out a tiny plastic bag with about 6 magic almonds in it. It had everything she said it would do typed in spanish with green ink on a piece of paper in the bag. The almonds looked like really old fungus ridden corn nuts. She than told me that she doesn't talk about it with people. Por que? Why is she telling me about her secret? She than goes on to tell me that each nut is worth 25$! What the fuck?! In that case she just gave me 150$ worth of friggin' nuts. Why such an expensive hard to find secret gift?
Why does she need to clean houses for money if she's got these magic weight loss health supreme nuts that are worth a fortune in her purse?! she kept saying.. "just try it, just try it... "so i was like "okay i will!". She then made me touch the damn nut and feel it. I was like, "okay cool great.. thanks?" she left.
Well.. I didn't try those fugly nuts. I googled them.
They are referred to as Yellow Oleander, in english, and they are what rat poison among many other poisons are made of. Lots of sights I read said that handling them with out gloves is dangerous! I just handled! She wants me dead?!
I thought about telling her what info I found on them, but than realized she must know this stuff already, she was so weird and secretive about them and went on and on about how some people don't believe it and are weird about it. So she must totally know. And to be honest I don't feel like talking to her about it. I threw them in the trash. And washed my hands 3x. I want a new cleaning partner. This one scares me.

bank hair

a dream~

my house mate told me my hair looked like crap and that i needed a hair cut~ we drove in a black jeep to the bank~ it had a 'super cuts' type place inside the bank~ like when your on a road trip and you see a dairy queen/taco bell combo~ but that even makes more sense~anyway.... i was going to get my hair cut at the bank~ it was packed with people~ a larger woman came in and gave me a dirty look~ she was going to do my hair~ i kept looking in a mirror trying to decide if my hair was SO bad i needed to get it cut right away, at that moment... in the bank salon.

dream

tornado in l.a., fish bowl hotel rooms,old lollipops dipped in jam, wild sleep over parties in the woods and at the sea, motor cycle gangs wanting to hang out, stranger than strange room turning into different room, only calm when a human connection is made.

close to close

i have a very old demo version of my song 'for love' on damages, tonight @ 10pm
http://www.fxnetworks.com/shows/originals/damages/
i am very excited to be "on" the same show as Glenn Close~

heartstrings

my website
www.theheartstringsymphony.com